" Morals "
How Should a Person Behave Towards Those Who Backbite Near Him/Her?
If a person is in an environment where other people are
backbiting or somebody is trying to backbite with him, how should he/she
“Imam Ghazali says:
When a person hears a gossip about someone:
He should not confirm it,
He should not have prejudices about that person, he should not believe the gossip,
He should not say “what if” and try to investigate the person,
He should condemn the gossiper and tell him not to do it again,
If the gossiper persists, he should get angry at him,
And for himself, he should not spread the gossip otherwise he will be gossiper.” (Kutub-i Sitta)
“Allah frees the person who defends his brother in his absence from the hell fire.”
“Allah defends a person both in this world and the hereafter when that person defends his brother in his absence.”(Ibn-i Abi’d Dunya)
“Whoever defends his Muslim brother’s honour and integrity, Allah protects his face from the hellfire on the Day of Judgment.” (Tirmizi)
“Whoever defends his brother in his absence Allah frees him from hell.” (Ahmed, Ibn-i Abi’d Dunya, Tabarani)
“To the person who defends his believing brother against hypocrites, on the day of judgment Allah sends an angel and protects him/her from the hell. And when someone backbites a Muslim to humiliate, Allah keeps him waiting on Hell Bridge until his crime is forgiven.” (Abu Davud, Ibn-i Abi’d Dunya)
“To the person who protects his believing brother’s honour in this world, Allah sends an angel to protect him from hell fire on the Day of Judgment.” (Ibn-i Abi’d Dunya)
“To the person who does not defend a Muslim when his/her dignity is being trampled down, Allah will certainly not help him when he needs Allah’s help. And whoever helps his brother/sister when his/her dignity is being trampled down, his/her honour is being offended; Allah will certainly help him when he needs Allah’s help.” (Abu Davud, Ibn-i Abi’d Dunya)
The person who does not defend his brother when people are backbiting about him, gets the punishment of backbiting
“To the person who defends his brother -where he can- in an environment where people are backbiting about his brother, Allah defends him in this world and the hereafter. If he does not defend his brother, Allah gives him a punishment as if he backbites himself, in this world and the hereafter.” (Asbahani)
“Whoever prevents people from backbiting about somebody, Allah closes a thousand doors of evil (shar) about him/her. But if he/she does not prevent them he is also considered to be backbiting.” (40 Hadiths Collection)
Our Beloved Prophet’s (pbuh) reaction to backbiting
Narrated by Hadrat Aisha:
“Rasulullah’s (pbuh) wife Safiyyah’s camel got sick. His other wife Zainab had many camels. Rasulullah (pbuh) asked Zainab to give Safiyyah a camel. Zainab said:
“Am I to give my camel to that Jew?” Rasulullah (pbuh) was furious because of these words, so during the months of Dhu'l-Hijja, Muharram and a part of Safar he did not visit Zainab.” (Abu Davud)
“Nobody tell me anything about my friends (Ashab) that will bother me. Because I want to face you and in the Akhirah(hereafter) face Allah with no bad feelings about anyone." (Tirmidhi)
Someone came to our Prophet (pbuh) and wanted to say some things about Hadrat Khalid. Rasulullah turns him back without letting him say a word.
Omar Bin Abdulaziz’s reaction to backbiting
A man came to Omar Bin Abdulaziz and said:
“So and so person said these things about you.”
“If you wish we can investigate this. If you are lying “O you who believe! If a liar, sinful person brings you an information, first investigate it(’s authenticity) thoroughly, lest you unwittingly annoy a folk and then become persons remorseful for what you have done.”(Al-Hujraat, 6) you will be considered according to this verse.
But, if you are not lying “oath mongers, abased (with no valuable insight, constant fault-finder (sneering behind people’s backs), regular chasers of slander-retailing, persistent hinderers of good, transgressors, utmost sinners, bullies; after (all) this, (even) stigmatized by illegitimacy” (Al-Qalam, 10-13) you will be considered according to this verse. Either way, you are responsible. If you wish we can choose the third option: to forgive you and leave it at that.”
The man said:
“I apologize. I will not attempt this again.” (Kutub-i Sitta)
A person who is in an environment where people are backbiting
A person who is in a situation where there are people backbiting he should warn the backbiter in a proper way and try to close the subject. If they keep backbiting despite his warning, he should leave the environment.
A person who hears of his own gossip
One day they told Hasan Basri:
“So and so person backbited about you.” Upon hearing about this Hasan Basri sends the backbiter a plate of fresh dates with this message attached:
“I heard that you gifted me your good deeds, I wish I could return the favour but I cannot. Kaynak: http://askaquestionto.us - How Should a Person Behave Towards Those Who Backbite Near Him/Her? Please forgive me!”